New job and reoccurring dream


I thought I’d miss my old job.

Despite hating most of the seconds I spent there, I thought I’d get that silly nostalgia, a bit like I did after graduating (seriously part of me kinda missed those crazy late nights at Hartley Library and my epic walk to WestQuay). But nothing. I honestly believe I have made the right decision.

My official title is marketing officer but I am also the resident ‘IT person’ (usually followed by ‘But you don’t look like the geeky type’). Everyone is really nice and I feel really welcome. Still in my ‘shy new girl’ phase but that will pass. I now live in the photography room by myself instead of the reception. Its a lot quieter up here and a nice bright room.

I’m definitely a lot happier, have more free time and can really save to move out as I’m not spending £222 a month on travelling to London everyday – just £30 a month on petrol.

So for the past week and a bit I have been having 2 reoccurring dreams. The general premise of the first one is that it is the last day or evening before the last day of a holiday and we’re deciding what to do. The location is different each time as is the group of people I am with. That is it. Nothing really gets decided, just kind of do the same thing we’ve done all week. There is always a feeling that we haven’t done anything really, nothing memorable.

The other one is that I am moving out of various houses and flats After being away for a period of time I go back to wherever I was living and start clearing out. No clue where I am going.

Last 3 Days!!


Third time lucky.

After months of spending my commutes to work job hunting,sneaking around the third floor of the office to call recruiters and panicking about interviews – I am thrilled/scared to announce that I have a new job and this will be my final week of being a content manager.

I didn’t have a good feeling about this job from the outset. It was very different to what I’m doing now and in an industry I am not too familiar with. However, I looked at the tasks and thought I could give it a go. The interview was scheduled for a few weeks in advance so I had plenty of time to prep. There was not much to go with from the job description – a massive change from my previous interview.

So interview number 2:

My 2nd interview had been for an industry training board as a digital assistant. Passed phone interview and recruitment agent ‘meeting’. I had to do a presentation which being a rather introverted person was a bit of a challenge and had a set of criteor upon which I was assessed during the interview. It was an entry level role – so i only had to meet/exceed the most basic demands. It was an OK interview, better than the one I had before. I got a good vibe from the people interviewing me, but the questions were somewhat irrelevant, the panel of 2 people read them from a script of six set questions.

Eg. When have you resolved an argument at work?

Honestly, I have never had an argument at work and I wasn’t smart enough to make something up on the spot. I told them that and how I would resolve a potential argument, which was the best I could do. Some of the other questions were a bit random too and while I know they were assessing my interpersonal skills they really weren’t relevant to me. While I could evidence my skills in other ways (I’ve had quite a few jobs) those questions weren’t the right way to probe this information.

Didn’t get the role. I was a very close second which was pretty flattering and I really did feel more confident about my interview skills after. I was initially gutted. Got a call while at work. Went to the balcony to answer it – for it to be rejection. Seriously, recruiters out there: EMAIL the rejection and then say you will follow up feedback. Yes, I want feedback but I need a bit of time to sulk first.

While the job did pay well and was really exciting, the commute would have been a bitch. I know people like to think they would travel for something they love, but travelling 2 hours+ just to GET to work would take its toll.

Ah I forgot Interview 1

So I applied for a digital content coordinator for a magazine. Got an interview and was nervous as fuck. Researched the company really well and put on my ‘professional’ face. I bloody crumbeld when it came to change the news story into social media posts. He left me alone for 20 minutes to complete task. Instead of writing neatly on a bit of paper given to me, I filled it with scribbles then got MORE paper form my bag and tried to write stuff down. Made a total mess of it. My hand writing is illegible at best, but talked him through it.

I thought it went well. Would hear back end of week. So Wednesday the NEXT week came and I got in touch. A rejection call promptly arrived. First rejection on the phone and yeah it wasn’t nice. Especially then going back to work in a job I was having a bad time at.

But it did have a silver lining. When I got to the interview, he mentioned salary –  was labelled ‘competitive’ in the job listing – and it was quite  a bit less than my current earning. Yes, it was driving distance so would save loads on travel, but the salary would be the same for 3 years. Not ideal. While I would have been willing to go lower for something I was wildly passionate about, more so than moving out –  this wasn’t it.

So interview 3,

Despite having weeks to prepare, I left it relatively last minute. Prepped common interview questions, geeked up on the company and felt unprepared. The night before I realised I had no clothes to wear. My suit from interview number 2 was filthy. (cream coloured suits are a terrible idea!!!). My back up grey blazer had a rather suspect stain on the collar and my dress had deodorant stains. So, morning of the interview I ran round town and bought an entire outfit in 30 mins. A record.

So, I got there early and chilled in the library for a bit, did some last minute research on their PPC stuff –  which turned out to be valuable, they liked my research skills haha.

Place is really pretty. Was so nervous at first, clasped my heavily perspiring hands together. I then managed to relax and be myself completely and honestly. They were asking about hobbies and stuff and I was surprisingly honest about writing random stuff in my free time. I felt at ease about half way through. I stumbled a bit with ‘any questions’ as one of the ladies had JUST answered one of my questions. Butttt recovered with just a slight stutter of words.

Anyway, this was on a Wednesday, I was last candidate,would hear back end of week. Then Thursday afternoon I had a missed call from them and an email saying congrats. WOOHOO!

Handing in notice was straight forward. Bit awkward that three other people were leaving at the same time. But oh well. Meant to have been training up my replacement this week, but they have yet to find one. Not my problem though.

So glad its over. During notice period I had some days I was like ‘this isn’t so bad’, but after spending 7.5 hours copying and pasting tracking codes individually into hundreds of adverts, I knew I had made the right call.

stream of conciousness rant about work


*barely in English, too tired to proofread

I really had high hopes for June, or rather I placed unrealistic aims on myself. My plan had been to find a new job and escape the mess that was slowly brewing at my current position. I wanted a quick escape from it. I was giving ridiculous hours to a company which made its money from questionable practises and I guess most importantly I felt my work was underappreciated. My writing was never meant to be read and that kinda messes with your ego/self-esteem (? Not sure the right term) a bit. There’s a part of me, which I am kind of ashamed to admit because it seems egotistical, which wants people to read and genuinely get some sort of benefit from what I’ve researched or written. So when I saw how superfluous my hardwork was, I began to feel a bit rubbish. Literally no one gives a damn, I could just place Lorem Ipsum on the websites and I doubt anyone would notice. I even got told my work was distracting people from the adverts on the page. While I felt a bit sad, I had this paradoxical feeling of self-worth and determination to show that I CAN do something else.

Some of the article content I have been required to write/upload/source images for, I am not happy about. My parents were like ‘oh its your job just do it’ but I am not HAPPY being part of an article which talks about newsreaders like they are hunks of meat. Note the article was titled ‘hottest newsreaders’ but no men featured in it… sigh.

There’s also a money hungry atmosphere which makes me feel very uncomfortable. Not as bad as a recruitment agency guy who did a speech at an interview day though. I believe he said something along the lines of ‘you can make a lot of money here. That feeling/power when you can buy drinks for people in the pub’ and other interviews were nodding wildly engrossed in this money focused speech. When I eventually leave I will explain the ins and outs.

I’ve kept all of this stuff bottled up a long time from my friends and family and for a while myself, I didn’t want to admit it that it was bothering me so much.

The biggest problem is trying to find satisfaction solely from work. I don’t want to define myself by a job. I need some sort of project to focus my energies on. I miss being passionate or enthusiastic about something. Like getting crazy involved in a good book or piece of writing so much that I am up to the early morning. I haven’t felt like that for a long time.

So ive decided I am going to make more use out of my blog, i used to keep diaries as a child, so I will treat this like one. I am also going to attempt NANOMO this year, gonna start prepping now.

While I know its not gonna solve all of my issues, the job hunt continues. It’s a start. Fingers crossed something will turn up soon. If not, I am just gonna start working my notice.

Though work has been hellish, things outside of work have been pretty great (: planning a holiday soon woohoo!

time for change


As of Saturday, I am back on the job hunt.

It was a difficult decision as I love the people I work with and I have a lot freedom in my current position. But, I really need a change of scenery and something more intellectually stimulating.  And I think the latter is more important.

<rant>The past few months I have become a robot writing on autopilot it seems. The word ‘stagnant’ comes to mind. The content is getting repetitive now and I am getting bored. I almost flipped out when there was a discussion (which I was not invited to but heard from friends) where it was suggested that one department was going to offload a load of crappy tasks on to me. I am not a lazy person, I am genuinely inundated with other tasks which are in my job description. These additional tasks are not my responsibility and are essentially mountains of very, very tedious data entry which you don’t need a specialist person to do (I’m the only in-house writer/content person). You could probably make a script to do it for you. In addition, as the other department members earn commission on it, I don’t think its fair for them to get credit for my work (I’m on normal contract, no commission structure).

I was genuinely angry which is quite rare for me at work. Indeed, it has only happened a handful of times. But I’m kind of glad I felt something than being my usual silent/submissive self. It was one of those small moments where I kind of felt I recognised my self-worth. If I do much much more copying and bloody pasting, I can my see laptop getting hurled of the roof.

Overall, I am grateful for the opportunity, I have learned some new things, have ‘experience’ in an office environment and have met some wonderful people. Part of me feels bad, but its time for me to move on.


I really don’t know how to go about this job search thing. Not entirely sure what I want to do, but I’m sure I’ll find something. Debating singing up to an agency and getting them to help me, that’s how I got my current job.



I don’t think I’ve posted at all this year. Pretty bad, even for me. Was on holiday last week, definitely needed a break. Work has been incredibly busy recently. However, we have a freelancer working for us properly now which has made it a lot easier. It seems some days that I am doing a 2-3 person job. Originally I was hired as a pair with another content manager, but she dropped out early in the internship. They never looked for a replacement so its always just been me. I do prefer working alone, but the workload was getting impossible if they wanted the sites to be done well.

Went on holiday to Egypt with one of my bestfriends last week. We had an amazing time. Its a beautiful place and sea is incredibly clear. First long holiday in years, so nice to relax in the sun and get away from rainy London. I have never been on holiday with just one person before, usually I have been with my family or 3 – 9 other people. But it was really nice, we like to do similar things so there was no conflict of interests. On previously holidays there has been some tensions, some of group wanted to get drunk and go clubbing every night and sleep off the hangover on the beach where as others and I wanted to explore the area.

Really wish we could have gone to Cairo. There was an excursion there being ran by a reputable UK tour operator but got advised against it. Hopefully next time though!

Back to work tomorrow. Not looking forward to it, to be honest. I have been thinking about leaving the past few weeks.Prior to getting the new freelancer, I did tell my manager that I was getting a bit frustrated with the job. Mainly the repetition of articles, I will be writing 9+ articles on EXACTLY the same topic. There is only so many ways you can write an identical article without plagiarising yourself. Managers were also asking one of my friends at work whether I was OK with the job. I genuinely don’t think they realised how much repetition I was being sent. In the past I have always seen work as a means to an end and nothing more, I want to do something that I am genuinely interested in/feels worthwhile.

As much as I want to leave, I have the problem of where I should work. More jobs in London, but the commute is ridiculous. I really want to move out, but living in London alone is beyond my salary. Part of me is considering moving somewhere else and then finding a job when I get there. I really need a change of scenery. As much as I love my family, I need my space and they need theirs. Dad retires soon, I doubt he wants his daughter still moping about the house.



12 Days


counting down the days until my three weeks off begin.

I cannot believe that I haven’t written a proper post in so long.

Autumn was awesome, had lots of time off around my birthday. Unfortunately managed to catch flu few days before my birthday so was a coughing mess at the pub. Still managed a few drinks though :) It’s been a strange year. Was nice to see the end of 22 with some of my best friends.

Looking forward to some time off. Apart from a few days off for a few dentist trips – another filling – I’ve had no time off. .Catching up with one of my good uni friends this weekend which will be nice. Work has been somewhat all-consuming recently. Been so drained, Ive been acting like an old lady. I was in bed at 9 last friday night while all my friends were at the pub. I blame commuting, wish I had a magic carpet!!

this year has gone so fast, but i have so little to show for it.


25-08-14: bank holiday


Finally a blog post! After working all day on WordPress and writing, I never feel up to blogging and writing in the evening when I get back, which is  a shame as its something I used to look forward to. Almost been at my current job a year now, this year has gone ridiculously quick! While I don’t miss the multitude of ridiculous customers had to deal with when I was working in the coffee shop – never thought I would day this –  part of me does miss it. I miss having espresso on tap and definitely the guys I used to work with. They were a lovely crowd which made hellish Saturdays a lot more fun! Writing job is going well though. As its is such a small company and I am the only content person, I have a lot of freedom which is nice. I really need to move closer to London though, the commute is slowly driving me insane. Its like, an hour to an hour and a half door-to-door: not cool. However, on the plus side the journey is long enough to read a book on the way, much better than Metro’s guilty pleasures section! Recently finished Dracula and am now reading The circle (dave eggers) and Dragon Tears (Dean koontz).

Haven’t written anything for fun in aaaages (non fiction though, I have written an insane amount) :( but planning something at the moment :) Did write this thing a while back though:


The buzz of everyday trifles
Swallowed by the sea.

The giddy heights had endowed me with perspective:
I read the black abyss with maddening clarity.

Master of my demons at last.
Or did I realise I was so small too?

I stayed long enough to catch a chill—
A sobering breeze breaking the intense still.

While the views were sublime,
The very essence of truth,
It is impossible to live here.

A dark and brooding hermit
In a drunk, informed solitude.

Too powerful. Too weak.